致地球的公开信_美文_双语阅读-查字典英语网

致地球的公开信

For one thing, we are troubled by the way we have been portrayed in the media. We represent an array of life whose richness and sheer scope would astound you. Yet for the most part, on this planet we are typecast as either hairless dweebs with foreheads like watermelons, or else giant insects who want to eat you.

No offense, but this is especially hard to take from a backwater planet most beings have never heard of. (In fairness, this is not entirely true. Earth is generally known for one thing: cottage cheese. Seriously, nobody else ever thought of that. Not even the Loboölata, who are themselves dairy products.)

The very word “alien isplagued（折磨，苦恼）by negative associations. According to our latest focus groups, the termconjures up（使人想象出）images of slimy,parasitic（寄生的）creatures who spring onto the faces of unsuspecting beings in order to plant their young inside, or people picking cabbages. (Apologies to the Bulibians: slimy, parasitic creatures who actually do spring onto the faces of unsuspecting beings in order to plant their young inside.)

We've discussed this among ourselves, and we no longer wish to be called aliens. Henceforth, we prefer to be called “Chuck Norris®. Please do not shorten,hyphenate（用连字符连接）,or alter this in any way. Theplural form（复数形式）is the same, as in, “Hey, there goes a Chuck Norris®. Wait, there goes another one."