Several years ago, while observing a parenting group in Minnesota, I was struck by a confession one of the women made to her peers: She didn't really care that her husband did the dishes after dinner. Sure, it was swell of him, and she had friends whose husbands did less. But what she really wanted, at that point in her day, was for her husband to volunteer to put the kids to bed. She would have been glad to sit in the kitchen on her own for a few minutes with the water running and her mind wandering. Another woman chimed in: 'Totally. The dishes don't talk back to you.'
几年前,我在明尼苏达州观摩过一个育儿组织的讨论会,一位女士对其他成员坦陈心迹对我触动颇深。她说,她丈夫晚饭后刷盘子,但她一点也不觉得高兴。当然,他能刷盘子很了不起,她有一些朋友的丈夫家务做得更少。但晚饭之后她真正希望丈夫去做的事情是主动哄孩子睡觉。如果能一个人在厨房里坐几分钟,在水流声中发发呆,她会感到很高兴。另一位女士接过话头:“完全正确。盘子不会跟你顶嘴。”
According to the American Time Use Survey-which asks thousands of Americans annually to chronicle how they spend their days-men and women now work roughly the same number of hours a week (though men work more paid hours, and women more unpaid). Given this balanced ledger, one might guess that all would finally be quiet on the domestic front-that women would finally have stopped wondering how they, rather than their husbands, got suckered into such a heavy load. But they haven't. The question is: Why?
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