Financial literacy expert Susan Beacham, founder of Money Savvy Generation, explains: "A lot of parents use a bribe not because we're confident it's the best parenting tool, but because we're tired." (Yep. That sounds about right.) "We're overwhelmed and we want our child to do what's best, and we can't figure out how to use our words effectively enough to get them to understand it. So we think to ourselves, 'Okay, the shortest distance between two points is to get them to just accomplish a task and over time, they'll get it.' Unfortunately, a child who is given a bribe to do something is focused on the bribe, not the task. So it doesn't work."
理财知识专家、儿童理财网站Money Savvy Generation的创始人苏珊o比切姆解释道:“许多父母之所以使用贿赂,并非因为我们自信这是最好的教育工具,而是因为我们厌烦了。”(没错。听起来很合理。)“我们不堪重负,但我们又希望孩子能做到最好,我们不知道如何有效地利用自己的言语,让孩子理解我们的意图。所以,我们会想:‘好吧,管不了那么多了,眼下最紧急的是让孩子完成任务,未来,他们会明白的。’但可惜的是,靠贿赂完成任务的孩子,关心的是贿赂,而不是任务。所以,贿赂是无用的。”
So how do you use both bribes and incentives more effectively? First, says Beacham, stop and think about why you're doing this -- and communicate that to your child. Say your child has to read 20 books over the summer. You want them to accomplish their goal (and are willing to bribe/incentivize) them to do that. But what you really want is for them to start to enjoy reading. It's okay to explain that. And to offer ways to make the task more fun. (Reading on the beach is fun; so is a half-hour of reading time after what's supposed to be lights-out.)
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