男人应该如何接近女人,千万不要吹口哨了_BEC初级作文

男人应该如何接近女人,千万不要吹口哨了

(CNN) -- If you are a woman, you've likely experienced the creepy, disrespectful and sometimes scary way some men treat you as you walk down the street -- lewd looks, unwanted comments, compliments about your body, elongated necks craning to see your backside, catcalls, even being followed.

(CNN) --作为女人，在走在大街上时，你很可能经历过男人的这些恶心的、无礼的，有时甚至是可怕的对待，比如说色眯眯的注视，评头论足，恭维你的身材或容貌，伸长脖子看你的背面，吹口哨，甚至是跟踪你。

It can be very hard to explain why catcalls and unwanted comments amount to harassment. Thankfully, there's a new video online that drives it home. In it, a woman walks around Manhattan for 10 hours(a hidden video camera is in front of her and she's got microphones in each hand.) She's harassed 108 times as she walks (silently) down the streets of the city. In two instances she's followed; one of the guys walks beside her for over five minutes. It's very eerie.

很难说清楚为什么吹口哨和评头论足就等同于骚扰。谢天谢地，网上有一个新视频能说明这一切。在视频中，一个女人在曼哈顿的大街上走了10个小时，她的前面有一个隐藏起来的摄像机，双手都带有麦克风。在静静地走过这个城市的街道时，她受到了108次骚扰。她两次被跟踪；其中一个家伙跟了她超过5分钟。这太可怕了。

It's a very sobering and enlightening experience to watch the barrage of harassment happen. And sadly, since so many of you believe that women provoke violence and even rape based on how they dress -- get this, the woman in the video is wearing a plain T-shirt and jeans. There's no cleavage or midriff or bare leg showing -- she's just a gal walking down the street.

看着这些骚扰接二连三地发生，不仅令人不禁恍然大悟。令人悲哀的是，你们中的很多人认为女人招致暴力甚至是强暴，是因为她们穿的太少，看看这个，视频中的女人穿着普通的T恤和牛仔裤。没有露乳沟，没有露肚脐，没有露大腿，她只是一个走在大街上的姑娘。

The video is compelling, particularly for women. It is uncomfortable to be harassed like this walking down the street, and yes, harassment is exactly what it is. In fact, in many states, it's also illegal.

这个视频是振聋发聩的，特别是对女性来说。走在大街上时，像这样被骚扰是令人不舒服的，是的，这就是骚扰。事实上，在很多州，这也是非法的。

For a long time, I didn't see it that way. Maybe it's because I make a living giving keynotes on leadership and at 45 have grown to be a very confident, extroverted person. Every time a man would say "Hey Beautiful" to me, I'd just look him straight in the eyes, shoot a smile and shout back "Yo what's up" -- which works like a charm, de-sexualizes the whole thing, keeps it Midwestern friendly while leaving the guy speechless that I asserted myself.

很长时间以来，其实我认为这没什么大不了的。这也可能是因为我经常给领导阶层做主题报告，并且我已经45岁了，已经变成一个足够自信、性格外向的人。每次有男人对我说“嘿，美女”时，我只是直视着他的眼睛，露出微笑，回敬一句“嗨，怎么了”，立马将难题化解于无形，保持中西部风格的友好，摒除其中的性别成分，同时我敢保证能让那个家伙无话可说。

But my opinion about catcalls changed when I saw it happen to my daughter. She's a beautiful girl, and just 15. A few weeks ago, we were walking in Boston -- she was in jeans, LL Bean boots and a flannel shirt -- yet the majority of guys eyed her head to toe and about half of them turned back to check out her butt. With every look, the momma bear in me started to get really angry. Sawyer, on the other hand, just got very quiet. When we crossed the street in front of a work site, she just stared at the ground.

但当骚扰发生在我女儿身上时，我的想法发生了变化。她是个漂亮的姑娘，只有15岁。几周前，我们在波士顿街头散步，她穿着牛仔裤，LL Bean牌的靴子和法兰绒衬衫，然而大多数的男人都从头到脚地盯着她看，大约一半人还回头看她的臀部。母性使我真的要生气了，然而索伊却不发一言。当我们穿过街道，走到一处工地时，她只是紧盯着地面。

My viewpoint changed that day. She didn't want the attention; she just wanted to walk down the sidewalk and window shop. And, more importantly, she didn't know how to handle it.

我的观点在那天起改变了。她不想要那种关注；她只想走过人行道和商店的橱窗。并且，更重要的是，她不知道如何处理这一切。

That's the crux of it. When you catcall, the attention, the comments, the looks are unwanted and they can make a woman feel emotionally and physically uncomfortable. A woman (or a girl) walking down the street just wants to be left alone. She's not interested in what you think about her body or her face. If she was, she'd ask you.

这就是问题所在。当你们的吹口哨、注视、评头论足和你们的相貌不是姑娘们想要的时候，这些会使姑娘们在情感上和身体上不自在。一个女人（或女孩）只想自由自在地在大街上行走。她对你对她容貌和身材的看法不敢兴趣。如果她有兴趣，她会问你的。

It's hard for guys to understand this, particularly when the sex center of the male brain is 2.5 times larger than the female sex center in the brain. Guys will likely always have sex on the brain more than women do. And sexual desire and power is absolutely at the root of catcalls -- that's why you hoot, holler, leer, jeer at a woman -- and it's also why guys think there's nothing wrong with it. Whether a woman or a girl can handle the attention isn't relevant; guys shouldn't be putting women and girls in a position in which they feel like they are getting eyed like a piece of meat.

男人很难理解这些，特别是因为男性大脑中的性区是女性大脑里的性区的2.5倍。男性脑中想着上床的次数要比女性多得多，性需求和驱使绝对是吹口哨的根本原因，这就是你们对女性大声叫嚷、窥视、调戏的原因，并且这也是男人并不认为这有什么错的原因。女人或女性能否应对这些关注与他们无关；男人不应该像盯着一块肉一样，死死盯着女人和女孩。

How should men approach women?

男人应该如何接近女人？

There's a huge difference between harassing a woman on the street with catcalls and actually trying to have a conversation with her. In case you fellas do want to speak with a woman, her are a few rules:

在大街上吹口哨骚扰一个姑娘与真正想与姑娘交谈有着巨大的差别，你们这些家伙如果真想和一个姑娘交谈，要遵循这些规则：

1. Speak "to" her, not "at" her.

“与”她说话，而不是“对着”她说话。

Whistles, shouts, hoots, hollers, kissing and animal sounds may help you hail a cab, but if you do it to a woman you don't know, it's harassment.

口哨、叫喊、高声大笑、嘟嘟囔囔、飞吻和学狗叫也许会帮助你叫辆出租车，如果你用在姑娘身上，你要知道这就是骚扰。

2. Start a conversation "with" her, not "about" her.

“和”她交谈，而不是对她“评头论足”。

Talk about the weather, the day, the book she's reading, because then it is a conversation. Do not talk about her hair, her smile, her outfit, her legs, her booty or her appearance, because that's harassment.

谈论天气、当天和她在看的书，因为这之后就会有更深的交流。不要谈论她的头发，她的微笑，她的服装，她的腿，她的臀部或她的外貌，因为这是骚扰。

3. If she walks away do not follow her.

如果她走开了，不要跟踪她。

If she ignores you, drops eye contact or keeps walking -- just leave her alone. If you start following her, you aren't complimenting her, you are stalking her.

如果她没有搭理你，不再看你或径直走开，就这样让她去吧。如果你还紧追不舍，那就不是在恭维她，而是在跟踪她。

At the end of the day, if you want to connect with a woman, all you need to do is smile. There's no need to say anything. That's all it takes. Look her in the eyes and smile. She'll likely smile back. That's it. If she wants to say hello, I'm sure she will. If she doesn't, just let her be.

在白昼即将结束时，如果你想结识一位姑娘，只需微笑就够了。不用说一个字。看着她的眼睛，面带微笑。她有可能以微笑回报。就是这样。如果她想打招呼，我肯定她会的。如果她不想，就让她走吧。

And speaking of eye contact, look at her eyes, because when you stare at her chest, her butt, her private area or do the top-to-bottom scan, it makes her feel extremely uncomfortable. Women walking on a sidewalk are not walking on a catwalk, and you're not a judge on America's Top Model, so stop acting like one.