第二点,你可以确定孩子们会从他们的经历中获得最大的价值。你可以引导他们集中于那些能使他们成功的能力(例如:“在那个项目上你真的很专注很努力”)而不是那些成就本身所通用的一致好评(例如:“做得好”)。你可以赞扬他们的成就(例如:“你对你的项目一定感觉很棒”)。
But you shouldn't just focus on the successes because, as every parent knows, as your children develop, they will experience far more failures than successes as they begin to gain competence. How you react often dictates how they will respond to those failures. If you show disappointment and frustration, they will judge their experience as negative and it may cause them to be reluctant to try again in the future. But if you are positive and supportive, your children will get the message that failure is okay and just a part of life.
但是你不应该只关注成功,因为每一位父母都知道,当孩子们发展时、获得能力时,相对于成功,他们更可能失败。你的反应往往决定了了他们将如何回应这些失败。如果你表现的失望或者沮丧,他们会判定自己的经历是消极的,这可能会导致他们不愿在未来再尝试一次。但是如果你是积极的支持的,你的孩子将会得到这样的信息:失败没什么,也是生活中的一部分。
A great difficulty for parents is allowing their children to be wrong or do something poorly in the mistaken belief that these experiences will hurt their sense of competence and scar their little psyches. But children, like everyone else, will likely fail the first few times they try anything new. Plus, they're little kids, so you wouldn't expect them to do much of anything very well at first. Whether they do it well isn't important because success isn't really the goal. Instead, the goal is their willingness to keep trying. And you can have faith that if your children continue to try at something, they will, sooner or later, achieve some degree of competence and success.
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