The dilemma I'm a woman in my early 30s and six months ago I was dumped. Our relationship was long distance, developed quickly and was the most intense of my life. He is 10 years my senior and is a unique, charismatic, charming man who makes a good impression on everyone. In private, however, he could be unkind, judgmental and emotionally distant. He could also be demanding, controlling and critical. During our relationship he pushed me to enter his world of ideas, books, films and art.
年过30的我,进退两难--六个月前,我被甩了。那是一段发展迅速的异地恋,也是我人生中最热烈的一段感情。他比我大10岁,特立独行而富有魅力,给所有人都留下了好印象。然而,私下里的他却刻薄、挑剔、与人疏远。他也极为苛刻、控制欲强、吹毛求疵。恋爱过程中,他迫使我进入他的世界,想他所想、看他所看(书、电影)、欣赏他所欣赏(艺术)。
If I didn't show enough interest, he would become disappointed and irritable. He would often ask me to articulate my thoughts and tell him what I needed, but I felt put on the spot and could never seem to act decisively in those moments. Now I am suffering a crisis of confidence as I struggle to define what makes me interesting. I can't seem to separate my own interests from his - and they all remind me of him. I was in the process of moving to his city (for career reasons as well) when he ended it. My plans have become totally destabilised and I have lost my sense of self.
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2020-09-15
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