没有比闲聊更能毁掉交谈中产生情感联系的方法了。当你像机器人一样生硬地与别人闲聊,别人只会觉得死板无趣,也不能与你建立多亲密的联系。而万人迷则不一样,他们很善于建立联系,甚至能从每天的短暂闲聊中发现深度的东西。他们对别人真诚的关注能够让他们非常轻松地提出好问题,还能把交谈内容联系到对方生活中的其他方面。
4.They focus on people more than anything else.
4. 比其他人更关注“人”。
Irresistible people possess an authentic interest in those around them. As a result, they don’t spend much time thinking about themselves. They don’t obsess over how well they’re liked, because they’re too busy focusing on the people they’re with. It’s what makes their irresistibility seem so effortless.
万人迷对身边的人都保持真正的兴趣,这就导致了他们很少为自己着想。他们不会沉迷于自己有多出色,因为他们花太多时间在身边的人身上了。这也就使得他们的不可抗拒性看起来是如此的毫不费劲了。
To put this habit to work for you, try putting down the smart phone and focusing on the people you’re with. Focus on what they’re saying, not what your response will be, or how what they’re saying will affect you. When people tell you something about themselves, follow up with open-ended questions to draw them out even more.
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