Good listeners ask questions, but not too many. Journalists know that the best moment in the interview often comes when you put away your pen and say, “Thank you so much for your time.” Then the interviewee — freed from your barrage of questions — tells you the thing she had been wanting to say all along.
好的倾听者会提出问题,但不会太多。记者们知道,采访中最好的时刻,是你收起录音笔然后说,“非常感谢你抽出时间接受采访。”然后,从你连珠炮般的问题中解放出来的受访者会告诉你她一直渴望吐露的事情。
When good listeners do speak, they don’t bother repeating their favourite lines. Listening to anyone halfway interesting is a stimulus to think of something new. The German writer Heinrich von Kleist called this “the gradual completion of thoughts while speaking”. In business, skilled listeners will use the other person’s words to make a sale. A consultant I know says that instead of telling clients what he has to offer, he usually asks them, “What’s top of mind?” If the client replies, “We’re just working out how to replace all our workers with robots,” he can then say, “It so happens we’ve got just the product for that.” Every conman knows that what you really sell people are their own fantasies.
好的倾听者真正开口的时候,不会重复他们最喜欢的句子。听一个不那么有意思的人说话,会刺激倾听者想到新的东西。德国作家海因里希冯克莱斯特(Heinrich von Kleist)称,这是“在说话的同时逐渐完善思路”。在商业活动中,有技巧的倾听者会用别人的话做成生意。一位我认识的营销顾问告诉我,他通常不会告诉客户他能提供什么,而是问他们“你们最想要的是什么?”如果客户回答说,“我们正在想办法用机器人替换我们所有的工人,”那么他就可以说,“这样啊,我们正好有相应的产品。”每个骗子都知道,你真正兜售给人们的是他们自己的幻想。
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