There is one big occupational hazard in listening. Sometimes you will encounter someone who is boring and predictable. This person will engage in one or all of boasting, solipsism, house-price talk, route talk (“The M1 was totally blocked, so … ”), diet talk (the word “carbs” is a warning signal) and current-affairs clichés (“Politicians! They’re all in it for themselves, that’s what I say”). But if the bore has you tied up in a hostage-style situation, then get him to talk directly about his own life. People’s experiences are usually more interesting than their views, and a good listener can come away with unexpected knowledge of life in Düsseldorf or the economics of dentistry.
倾听者可能会遭遇一种“职业性危害”。有时你会遇到某个乏味无趣的人。这个人可能在谈话中有以下其中一种乃至全部举动:自夸、 唯我、谈房价、谈交通(“1号线地铁完全堵死了,所以……”)、谈饮食(“碳水化合物”是一个警告信号)和有关时事的陈词滥调(“政客们!他们全都只顾自己,这就是我说的”。)但是,如果无聊感已经把你绑架了,让他直接谈一谈他自己的生活。人们的经历通常比他们的观点更有趣,好的倾听者在结束谈话离开时,会意外了解到杜塞尔多夫(Düsseldorf)的生活情况或者牙医这一行的经济情况。
Even when the listener learns nothing worthwhile, he can achieve a useful seduction. I once had a boss who was the smartest man in the room. After taking over the department, he invited the lowliest grunts out to lunch one by one. He’d ask each one, “So what do you think we should change?” and then listen while the grunt spouted all the grievances she had been storing up for years. I suspect that the boss didn’t care about the grunts’ views. He already knew exactly what he wanted to change. But when he did make changes, the grunts united in support of the first person who had ever listened to them. Today the guy is chief executive of a global media company, so he probably doesn’t have to listen any more.
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