1. Target the problem, not the person
1. 就事论事,不针对个人
If a family member blames you for something you have done, it is important to be careful about how you defend yourself. It is not a good idea to use ways that cause hurt, even if they would help you make a valid point.
如果家庭成员因为你做了某事而责怪你,那你的辩护方式十分重要。如果你的辩护方式会带来伤害,即使这种方式能让你提出有力观点,我们也不建议这么做。
If you can think of an instance where the other person has done exactly what they accuse you of, for example, it would not be good manners to throw it in their face. You should only bring it up if you don't have a choice. Then, you should make sure that you do it respectfully.
比如,如果家庭成员指责你不应该这样做,而你却回想到他/她以前也这么做过,这时候讲出这件事打他们的脸则是不礼貌的做法,除非你别无他法。即便这样,你也应该以尊敬的态度提出此事。
2. Remember that people are different
2. 记住这一点:人和人是不同的
Even if a family member habitually goes against reasonable wishes you may have, you should understand that people genuinely see even the most fundamental things in very different ways.
即使某个家庭成员会习惯性地反驳你的合理提议,你也应该明白,即便是最日常的东西,人们的看法也不尽相同。
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