Among other things, Rumrill says the book addresses the inherent tension and conflict involved in caring for an aging family member, especially when the tables in the relationship are turned and adult children are telling their aging parents what to do.
For Rumrill, that point is exemplified by one memory of his grandmother. He was explaining something to his grandmother when she interrupted him. “Apparently I was saying it in too much of an advisory way,” Rumrill says, “and she stopped me for a minute. And she said, ‘I want to ask you a question. … When did the change happen where you started telling me what to do?’”
- Multiple stressors take a bite out of the sandwich generation, CT.Counselling.org, October 20, 2017.
3. If you’re already in your sixties, or nearly, and feeling the financial squeeze of the needs of aging parents and growing children, there are still a few things you can do to lower your stress level and increase your peace of mind. You might consider working a little longer, trimming your expenses, and urging your kids to explore every option for college financial aid - especially merit grants or scholarships that neither of you will have to repay after they graduate.
If you’re in your forties or fifties, you have more time to plan and make preparations before you find yourself caught in the sandwich generation.
Regardless of your age, here are a few steps you can take that may help you manage the needs of your aging parents and adult children without getting squeezed by sandwich generation problems: Preserve Your Assets - Don’t be a sandwich generation martyr by raiding your retirement savings to pay for your children’s college education or your parents’ long-term care. Your kids can take out student loans if necessary, and you should use your parents own assets to finance their care for as long as possible. Plan Ahead - Keep the sandwich generation trend in mind when you’re projecting what kind of income you’ll need in retirement. Be sure to consider the possibility that you’ll end up in the sandwich generation one or more of your kids may need to come back home for awhile, raising your monthly costs or maybe delaying your plan to move to a smaller home. And if you have one or more parents still living, count on joining the sandwich generation as your parents may also need your financial help.
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