Beyond Fear
超越恐惧
When I was told last year that my 2-year-old son had an illness that threatened his life, I tried to strike a bargain with fate――I would do anything, I would trade my old life away, if only he would get better. We learned that our son would need months of treatment, maybe even a year, before we would know whether he would recover. My husband and I settled into a deadening routine; one night at the hospital, the next night at home to be with our daughter, then right back to the hospital. The days and nights were a blur of medical reports. Fear and despair engulfed me.
去年当我得知两岁的儿子患了一种危及生命的疾病时,我努力跟命运抗争--只要他能好起来,我什么都愿意做,甚至改变我以前的生活。我们得知,儿子需要治疗好几个月、甚至一年后,才知道是不是能康复。我和我丈夫陷入了一种呆板的生活中:头一晚在医院,第二天晚上在家陪女儿,然后又一晚待在医院。日日夜夜都是治疗报告。恐惧和绝望吞没了我。
I watched the other mothers at the hospital. I saw the mother of the child with cystic fibrosis faithfully administer physical therapy, heard the hollow thump-thump-thump as she pounded the child's chest, her efforts a talisman of dedication, hope and pain. I ached for the mother whose infant twins both had cancer and who managed somehow to write thank-you notes to the nurses after the babies' many hospitalizations. I worried that I could not live up to these mothers' heroism. They did what good mothers are supposed to do,what mothers of sick children have to do,and what I did, too.
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