The struggle for me started early on. In high school, I thought I discovered my life’s purpose when I could answer that age-old question, ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ Nope. In college I thought I’d discover it when I could answer, ‘What’s your major?’ Not quite. I thought that maybe I’d discovered it when I found a good job. Then I thought I just needed to get a few promotions. That didn’t work either.
我的困惑很早就已经出现。上高中时,当我以为能够回答那个老生常谈的问题——你长大了想做什么时,我就找到了自己的人生目标。但其实不然。上大学时,我曾以为自己知道想学什么专业就找到了目标。也不完全如此。在我找到一份好工作,认为自己只需要几次晋升后,我又有了这样的想法,但都不对。
I kept convincing myself that it was just over the horizon, around the next corner. Nothing worked. And it was really tearing me apart. Part of me kept pushing ahead to the next achievement. And the other part kept asking, ‘Is this all there is?’
我不断的告诉自己,在未来的某一天或某个地方,我一定能够找到人生目标的终极答案。但不幸的是这始终没有发生,这让我十分伤心。我一边不断的工作争取下一个成就一边拷问自己:“难道生命的意义就在于此吗?”
I went to grad school at Duke looking for the answer. I tried meditation. I sought guidance in religion. I read great philosophers and authors. And in a moment of youthful indiscretion, I might even have experimented with a Windows PC, and obviously that didn’t work.
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