Magical thinking? 痴心妄想_其他_趣味英语-查字典英语网

Magical thinking? 痴心妄想

Where does perfectionism come from?

One of the images that may come to mind when we discuss perfectionism is the overbearing parent who constantly criticizes and scolds their child for every little mistake. Love and nurturing are withheld and may be conditional upon the child's "performance" of what he or she can do. It is a reasonable assumption that such a child may grow up to either rebel or become a perfectionist. Yet this is not the only scenario which may contribute to the trait of perfectionism. The following list includes other possible factors involved in creating the need for perfection.

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Maintaining an illusion of control

When we feel that our life is spiraling out of control, one way to deal with this overwhelming feeling is to seek control in other areas. Striving for perfection is one defense mechanism to deal with great uncertainty. If we can't control the world and our circumstances, then we may seek to control ourselves. One way to do that is to be perfect. Perfectionism is a way to distract ourselves from the crises at hand. This way we don't have to accept unacceptable things like having a child with an incurable illness or that our spouse has an addiction to drugs or alcohol. If we carry our magical thinking to the extreme, we may even feel that we can cure such things by simply being perfect.

Believing that bad things will happen if we are not perfect

Finish this sentence: If I am not perfect then ..."? As a child I would finish that sentence with: My mother will never be happy or sane. I will never get out of poverty. I will be unloved. As an adult, my thinking is similar to when I was a child. I feel that if I am not perfect that my household will fall apart, my son with autism will regress and everyone will be disappointed in me. Every perfectionist has their own variation of this theme. It basically equates to "If I am not perfect bad things will happen and not just to me but to the people I love." This is another illusion of perfectionism and may be an unconscious way to hold onto control when we feel we have none.