能恰当地赞美别人是一件佳事,可是该怎样赞扬别人可不是人人都会的。下面这些建议你可需要认真考量哦!
3. The effusiveness and time spent in giving praise should be commensurate with the difficulty and time-intensiveness of the task. If a task was quick and easy, a hasty “Looks great!” will do; if a task was protracted and difficult, the praise should be more lengthy and descriptive. Also, you might bring up the praise more than once.
表扬用的时间和言语应该和该任务的困难程度和时间强度一致。 如果一项任务即快又容易,那么匆忙一声“看起来不错!”就行了;如果一项任务冗长而困难,那么表扬的话应该更长、更具体。同样,你可能要多次表扬。
4. Remember the negativity bias. The “negativity bias” is a well-recognized psychological phenomenon: people react to the bad more strongly and persistently than to the comparable good. For example, within marriage, it takes at least five good acts to repair the damage of one critical or destructive act. So if you want to praise someone, remember that one critical comment will wipe out several positive comments, and will be far more memorable. To stay silent, and then remark something like, “It’s too bad that that door couldn’t be fixed,” will be perceived as highly critical。
记住“消极偏见”。“消极偏见”是一种为人熟知的心理现象:人们对坏话的反应比对好话更强烈、更持久。例如在婚姻中,至少要五次善举才能修复一次批评或破坏性的行为给人带来的创伤。所以,如果你想表扬某人,记着一句批评的话会抵消几句肯定的评价,而且会更让人记忆深刻。沉默许久然后说一句:“真糟糕,门修不好了”将是一句高度批评的话。
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