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工作中的人气陷阱

This is a particular problem for female professionals, Lumley finds. "It's a childhood hangover. We all long to be the most popular girl in school. Also, girls are brought up to try to please. This need to be liked gets in the way of career progress. At work, men don't give a thought to what others think so long as they get their way."

职业女性尤其容易产生这个问题，詹妮·伦莉说：“这是因为童年给我们太深的痕迹，我们都想成为学校里最受欢迎的女生；同时，女孩子从小就被教导要善解人意。而这种要讨人喜爱的心理往往会成为职业生涯的障碍。而对男性来说就没有这个问题，只要他们达到他们预期的目标，他们才不会理会其他人到底怎么想。”

AT TIMES YOU HAVE TO BE TOUGH 有时你就要狠下心来！

Although we would all love to be Ms Popular at home and in the office, at work the task is not to be liked, but to be effective, says computer sales executive Andrea. 电脑销售主管安德莉认为，虽然我们都想成为家里或办公室的受欢迎人士，可工作的性质不是要求人们要招人喜爱，而是一定要有工作效率。

"This is possibly the single most important lesson we can learn. You can't always be popular. You shouldn't have to be; it's not what you're there for. Progress depends on having your own ideas and sticking to them. And that means having the guts to make difficult decisions when you have to," she says. 安德莉说：“这有可能是我们学到的最重要的东西。你不可能时时处处受欢迎，你也没必要这样做；你的工作也不要求你这样。工作取得进展很大程度上是因为你有自己独立的想法并努力去实现它，这也就意味着在必要的时候，你就得狠下心来做出艰苦的决定。”