当你惹别人生气了怎么办？_职场英语

当你惹别人生气了怎么办？

"You made a classic mistake," he told me.

“你可真是犯了一个典型的错误。”他说。

"Me? I made the mistake?" I was only half joking.

“啥？是我做错了吗？”我半开玩笑问道。

"Yes. And you just made it again," he said. "You're stuck in your perspective: You didn't mean to be late. But that's not the point. The point is that you were late. The point — and what's important in your communication — is how your lateness impacted Eleanor."

“当然是你错了，刚才就是。”他说。“你一直从自己的立场强调‘我不是故意迟到的’，但这不是问题的关键，关键是你确实迟到了，而且你的迟到确实影响到了埃莉诺。”

In other words, I was focused on my intention while Eleanor was focused on the consequences. We were having two different conversations. In the end, we both felt unacknowledged, misunderstood, and angry.

这样说来，我只一味强调我的本意，而埃莉诺看重的却是结果。所以，我俩讲的话根本就风马牛不相及，最后自然都会因为分歧和误解而生气了。

The more I thought about what Ken said, the more I recognized that this battle — intention vs. consequences — was the root cause of so much interpersonal discord.

肯的话，我越想越觉得这种“本意VS结果”的争论正是很多人际关系不和的根本原因。

As it turns out, it's not the thought that counts or even the action that counts. That's because the other person doesn't experience your thought or your action. They experience the consequences of your action.