点评:第四段是让步段,即从反面角度来分析。内容还是比较充实的,然而稍有矛盾!因为on the other hand是另一方面的意思,一般是与前几段内容对立的。而纵观此段,貌似应该用in addition, furthermore开头更为合理些。红色部分依然是语言的错误,have the ability, the whole country, on the contrary。这些错误暴露了作者的基本语言水平还不够扎实。
To sum up, the national sports team is one of the symbol of a country. I advocate that authorities should invest in cultivating excellent sports teams. Though there are many obstacles, I am sure that we can conquer it by our efforts.(314words)
点评:第五段,即结尾段,一般是比较容易写的,重申观点即可,但不能照抄第一段已经用过的语句!人称方面有些问题,前面是说country,后面又变成了we can,有些不统一。
总评:全文内容方面尚可,结构清晰,但语言虽有一定的多样性和复杂性,却时而有错。再三考虑,6分。
【雅思大作文点评:国家体育队应该由谁资助?】相关文章:
最新
2016-10-19
2016-06-13
2016-06-13
2016-06-13
2016-06-13
2016-06-13