③Invention of the Internet triggers an even bigger revolution both in peoples lifestyles and the developing pattern of the whole society. ④Because of E-banking, E-trading and on-line shopping, gone are the days when people had to obtain what they needed in some tangible supermarket or met their business partner in another city.⑤Moreover,telecommuters may sit comfortably at home as all the business can be performed on-line without going to the office, therefore reducing the potential risk of traffic congestion, urban air pollution and petrol use.
语言点评:③④⑤句利用排比的形式从因特网发明的角度说明其对个人工作以及社会发展方式的影响,注意E-banking, E-trading and on line-shopping, traffic congestion, urban air pollution and petrol use.等专有词汇的使用;triggers an even bigger revolution, reducing the potential risk of 等短语的娴熟使用以及gone are the days when句式的信手捏来都有可能构生的潜在加分点。
主题2段: 交代科技发展所带来的消极影响,共⑥句话。
①At the same time,however, one must not fail to see the detrimental effects brought about by these modern tools.
语言点评:At the same time,however笔锋一转,读者可以预料作者接下来会讨论现代科技所带来的负面影响,注意句型:one must not fail to see sth 以及短语the detrimental effects of sth brought about by sth的使用。
【3月20日雅思写作范文的演示与独家点评】相关文章:
最新
2016-06-13
2016-02-29
2016-02-29
2016-02-29
2016-02-29
2016-02-29