习作评析(2)
一个星期天的上午,小丽和爸爸一起去公园,碰见了下图所发生的事情。请根据提示和图画内容,用英语写一则小故事,以便刊登在某一对外发行的英语刊物上。
[注意] 1. 短文必须包括图画所表现的主要内容,可以适当增减细节,使其连贯、完整;
2. 词数:100-120.
[学生原文] One day (1) Xiao Li and her father went to the Peoples Park together. Walking around the park they found out (2) a girl cried by a road. Xiao Li and her father went up to her and asked who she was. But she knew nothing about it. And she didnt even know where she lived. (3) So they were forced to (4) send her to the police station of the park, there (5) she was taken good care of. The news of the girl lost were (6) broadcast. After sometime (7) came in the parents of the girl. They were too excited to see (8) their child. They expressed their thank you(9) to Xiao Li and her father. Then they said good-bye to the girl (10)。
[名师点评]这是一篇记事的短文,考生能够把握图画的要点,并按照故事发生的顺序进行写作,有两处地方用了现在分词作伴随状语,使短文添彩许多,考生能较好地表达图画的内容。但是,考生在运用句型时出现了两处错误,有的词和词组的运用欠准确。现把存在的问题逐一分析如下:
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