4. Know when to step away from a fight, but don't take too long.
知道什么时候要冷静下来暂停吵架,但不要花太长时间。
So your spouse has brought up your surprise big-screen TV purchase and the discussion quickly gets heated. It's okay to take some time to cool off, but don't go for more than a day without touching base.
比如说,你的另一半吃惊地发现你买了个大屏电视,于是来跟你理论,然后话题迅速升温。这个时候花一些时间去冷静下来是挺好,但不要花超过一天的时间不联系对方。
5. Disagree agreeably.
委婉地表达你的不同意。
Avoid judgment, nitpicking, and exaggerations (it helps to eliminate "always" and "never" — as in, "you always feel the need to buy the latest electronics!" — from your vocabulary). This also means respecting one another's opinion. Disrespect breeds disrespect. If you ask your spouse why he thinks it's important that he spends money on something, and while he's answering, you cut him off, don't expect to be able to finish your own thoughts during the conversation."
避免贴标签、吹毛求疵和夸大之词(这会有助于从你的词汇表里消除一些像“总是”和“从不”一样的极端词汇——比如在对话“你总是觉得自己必须买最新的电子产品!”)这也意味着要尊重对方的想法。一方的不尊重会催生另一方的不尊重。当你问你的配偶为什么一定要花钱买某样东西的时候,如果你在他回答的时候打断了他,那就别期望你能够在你自己说话时不被打断完整地表达你的观点。
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