6. Stick to the topic at hand.
把注意力集中在当前遇到的问题。
It's easy for fights to spiral out of control whether by turning into a rehash of past problems or prompting a rundown of related concerns (or both). But getting sidetracked will make it nearly impossible to resolve the issue that's in front of you. Similarly, don't turn your spouse into the enemy; you're not there to attack them, but rather to talk through a specific problem.
当你们讨论一个问题时,无论是转变成谈陈年旧账还是不相关事件全都拿出来谈,都容易使吵架进入失控的状态。话题一旦跑偏,解决问题就会变得十分困难。类似地,不要把你的另一半变成敌人;你的目的不是要攻击他们,而是要讨论一个具体的问题。
7. Accept your partner's differences and find a compromise.
接纳与你配偶间的差异并做出让步。
Help one another get into a compromising mindset through listening and validation. Repeat back to your spouse what he or she has said, so they know they've been heard, and truly try to empathize with their point of view. Helping your partner feel understood can help relieve defensiveness so you can move together toward resolution. As for what that resolution looks like, don't be afraid of compromise.
在聆听和确认的过程中帮助对方形成一个让步的心态。重复你的伴侣说了什么,这样他们就会知道你已经听到了他们所说的,也能够真正地理解他们的想法。让你的配偶感受到被理解能够帮助缓解他们的防御心理,你们也因此能够聚到一起讨论解决方法。至于最后的解决方法是什么样,不要害怕妥协。
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