1. 初稿表述较全面,覆盖了大部分内容要点,运用了一些较复杂的语法结构和词汇。此外,文章还注意到了语句间的衔接,行文连贯,过渡比较自然。

　　2. 表达中存在的错误和不足:

　　(1)在On the one hand, unplanned cut trees and many fires caused the de-crease of the forest, making many animals lose their homes to live.一句中,主语unplanned cut trees应该改为动名词短语unplanned cut-ting trees；句末的动词不定式to live修饰homes,缺少介词in。

　　成稿:

　　Recently, a survey was done to find out how nature was destroyed in some area. As we can see from the diagram, a lot of animals are in danger now. I think there are two reasons for this. On the one hand, unplanned cutting trees and many fires caused the decrease of the forest, making many animals lose their homes to live in. On the other hand, many animals have been killed illegally and as a result, some of them are in danger of dying out. In my opinion, something should be done to stop this from happening again. Firstly, natural reserves should be set up and ecological tours should be developed to protect animals. Secondly, people who hunt illegally should be punished. But the most important thing is that people should be made aware of the importance of animal protection. Only in this way can we save nature and animals, which is of great value to human beings.

　　实例指导6—太湖工业垃圾污染

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