1. 本文清楚地描述了太湖蓝藻事件,并运用了一些适当的语法结构。比如:It is high time that ...等等。
2. 但是作者审题有误,把讲述太湖蓝藻事件确定为写作重心,而强调环境保护时却一笔带过。显然,不符合写作目的。
3. 语言运用能力有所欠缺,表达不精炼。
成稿:
Algae Outbreak in Lake Tai and Environmental Protection
A terrible case of algae broke out in Lake Tai in June, an attraction ever famous for its beautiful scenery and clear water. Smelly algae has seriously polluted the lake and threatened the drinking water supply for the millions of people living in Wuxi City. There are two main reasons for this disaster. The first is that some factories in the area have been pouring a lot of waste directly into the lake. The other reason is that the local weather has been hot with little rain since April. In this case, it is very good for algae to grow.
This natural disaster shows how the ecological balance in this area has been badly damaged. It is high time that we took some measures to protect our environment. For example, there should be laws introduced to stop factories from pouring their waste into the lake. Also we should make use of environmentally friendly materials in our daily lives. Most importantly, the public should be taught the importance of environmental protection.
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