excuses
for him,Mom,”I said.“But maybe he is feeling unwell...” Mom said.“Maybe nothing,” I interrupted.I had been tending Mom since her health began to decline and this would be the first time in a year that my husband and I had a night out together.Jerry had promised to stay with Mom.But again he let us down.And more often than not,his drinking had a lot to do with it.His irresponsibility upset me.
I remembered our happy growingup years in a small town in West Virginia.With good family education,Jerry had been a kind kid.He was only 15 when Dad died.Unlike him,I got over the sorrow soon,but he started drinking.Soon he began hanging out with bad guys.
Jerry and I didn’t see each other often,but we talked on the phone.Usually,though,we ended up fighting.When Mom came to live with us,Jerry dropped in regularly at first,but after a while his visits became sporadic.He explained he couldn’t handle seeing Mom in such a bad condition.Another excuse,I thought.
One day I went to see the doctor about my back.It had been aching for months.“I can’t find anything wrong with you physically,”the doctor said.“But I can tell you’re very tense.Is something bothering you?” I poured out my story about Jerry.“Do you think he’s likely to change?” he asked.I shrugged.“Probably not.”“But,you can,”he said gently.
Me?Why did I have to change?He was the one who constantly let us down.But what had I done?Maybe the doctor was right.I couldn’t love his behavior,but I could love him—the way I did when we were little.As I walked into the house I sensed a relief.
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