If you consider any noise after midnight to be intolerable, for example, others may genuinely see it is completely acceptable. It can take them a great deal of time to change their behavior for a demand that they do not understand.
比如,你认为午夜过后的噪声无法忍受,但其他人却会觉得这是完全可以接受的。他们可能需要花大量时间改变他们的行为以满足他们所不能理解的需求。
3. Look for patterns
3. 寻找规律
Think about the familial conflicts that you are worried about now. Check to see if there is a parallel with problems that your parents had. People who grow up with parents who fight unfairly often repeat the same behavior. Consider changing the unfair habits that you grew up with.
想想你现在最担心什么样的家庭冲突?你的父母是不是也曾起过这类冲突?如果父母总是争吵,在这种情况下成长的人往往也会重复同样的行为。考虑考虑吧:改掉成长过程中的坏习惯。
4. Understand that memories tend to change
4. 你要明白:记忆也会改变
In long-standing family disputes, all parties involved tend to have completely different recollections of the original problem. The mind has a way of constantly changing the way it remembers things - to the point that memories eventually bear no connection to real event.
对于持续较久的家庭纠纷而言,纠纷各方往往对一开始的冲突点有着不同的回忆。大脑的记忆会不断改变--甚至所拥有的最终记忆与原有事件毫不相关。
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