婚姻亮红灯时你犯傻了吗？情感专家非常规作战保卫爱情_BEC初级作文

婚姻亮红灯时你犯傻了吗？情感专家非常规作战保卫爱情

"Sometimes expressing your feelings can be very hurtful to the other person," he says. "[People ask,] 'But shouldn’t I be honest about my feelings?' If honestly expressing your feelings is hurtful to the other person, it’s not honest; it’s stupid, it’s insensitive, and it’s damaging to the relationship."

有人提问：“有时候告诉对方你真实的感受是很伤人的，但是我难道不该坦诚地说出我的真实感受吗？”那么情感专家告诉你，“如果你的真实感受会伤害到他她，那么你说出来是愚蠢至极，非常欠考虑的。这样只会让你们的关系更加糟糕。”

What's more, Fertel says that traditional approaches to mending a broken marriage -- like marriage counseling -- are ineffective because of their emphasis on listening, rather than doing. He cites a couple that attended counseling sessions for weeks, and who came out of the experience with a better understanding of each spouse's point of view -- but no actionable steps to fix their marriage.

更重要的是“传统婚姻情感解决方法，如婚姻顾问更侧重于倾听，在实际作为上却做得很少。这往往解决不了问题。” 菲尔特渥先生说道。他引用了一对夫妻的案例，在双方经过情感顾问调解达几周以后，双方达成的共识是能够更理解对方,然而对于修补他们的婚姻并没有起到实质性的帮助。

"Listening is an important skill, both for a counselor and a spouse. But a broken marriage needs leadership. After listening, someone has to have the courage and experience to say, “Ok, here’s what I want you to do,” Fertel says. "Marriages change not because of what people say or how well they listen; marriages change because of what people do."