True listening requires awareness of what is going on inside. Only when we are conscious of our inner-workings can we truly hear another person.
真正的倾听包括懂得内心所发生的一切。只有当我们了解了内心所想后,才能听见他人的声音。
The next time you find yourself listening to your partner, whether in an argument or otherwise, see if you can notice what you're feeling and thinking in response without having to speak immediately. See if you can allow your significant other to really be heard. Then, accept what's going on inside you, no matter what the thought or emotion. From there you can speak with rational and relative calm, which brings me to my next point.
无论是争吵还是其他事情,当下回你发现自己在倾听对方的时候,问自己是否察觉到了自己的所想所感,而不要急着去争辩。看自己是否真的能听见另一半的心声。然后,无论是出自怎样的想法和情绪,都要接受内心的自我。这样一来你就可以相对理性地回答对方,接着就是我给读者的下一个建议。
You're not speaking up
你没有大声说出来
Many of us carry around little hurts and grudges all our lives. Often, we believe that acknowledging the pain is generally more trouble than it's worth, and while it may seem like that in the moment, over the years those little indignities pile on top of each other and morph into a mound of resentment. And that is dangerous.
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