想一想爱荷华大学劳伦斯所说的白金规则:“己所不欲,勿施于人。”换句话说,就是停下来,去倾听。有时,倾听甚至能比提建议更有效。拉涅利说:“如果你给某个人足够的时间去彻谈一些事,那将会帮助他们、让他们自己去拿主意。”
Or try telling them a story. 'This might not be appropriate for you, but what I did when I had a similar problem was…' This approach allows an exchange of information. 'The person with the problem can say, 'Thank you for the story but here is the difference for me with my situation,' ' says Dr. Ranieri. 'Then you can target your next remarks to that.'
或者试着给他们讲一个故事。“这个可能对你不适用,但当我曾经遇到类似问题的时候,我是这样做的……”这种方式会促成信息交流。“遇到问题的那个人可以说,'谢谢你的故事,但我的情况在这一点上有所不同。'”拉涅利说:“然后你就能转到下一个话题上了。”
What if you're the recipient of unwanted advice? Respond with a 'thank you,' to acknowledge the gesture. Then explain that you aren't looking for advice at this time. This allows for the possibility that down the road you may want advice.
如果你收到了一条无用的建议,该怎么办呢?回应对方一句“谢谢你”,以此来表达你的谢意。然后解释说,你目前并未在搜寻建议。这就为你今后可能需要建议时留有了余地。
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