我一辈子都在与谎报身高的男人打交道。内心深处,每个男人都希望自己有六英尺,尽管全美成年男性的平均身高是五英尺10英寸。对男人来说,这就像是必须成为百万富翁;这是一个男人们必须成为其中一员的俱乐部。在身高问题上说谎,即使是不攻自破的谎言,这也是关乎男人尊严的问题。和很多关乎男人尊严的问题一样,谎报身高很愚蠢。
When I was a little kid, the only thing I wanted was to be 6-feet tall. I was convinced that if I was six feet tall, people would leave me alone. I reached that height in my late teens and abruptly, as if on cue, the thugs, punks and bullies who had terrorized me all through high school called off the dogs. Forever. Thugs, punks and bullies always take the path of least resistance, preying on the weak, the elderly, the distaff and the short. They particularly like thin, female octogenarian dwarfs. Preferably blind.
我小时候最大的愿望就是长到六英尺。那时我相信,如果我有六英尺,别人就不会欺负我。我不到20岁时真的长到了六英尺,突然之间,就像是安排好的,那些在整个高中时期恐吓我的流氓、混混和霸王一下子都不再找我的茬了。永远也没再找茬。流氓、混混和小霸王都喜欢捡软柿子捏,欺负那些体弱、年迈、女孩和个子矮的人。他们尤其喜欢欺负瘦小的老太太,最好还是双目失明的。
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