For 20 years, Christina Steinorth was happy to help one of her close friends with whatever she needed -- last-minute baby sitting, a drive to work when her car was in the shop, countless hours of free marriage advice (Ms. Steinorth is a licensed marriage and family therapist). She didn't expect anything in return.

去20年来，无论密友有什么事情需要帮助，克里斯蒂娜·斯泰诺特(Christina Steinorth)一直都乐意帮忙，比如临时受托替她照看孩子、在她车子送去维修时送她上班，以及提供无数个小时的免费婚姻咨询（斯泰诺特是一名持照婚姻家庭治疗师）。斯泰诺特并未期望获得任何回报。

When Ms. Steinorth and her husband decided to adopt a baby a few years ago, she asked her pal to write a letter of recommendation. The friend agreed enthusiastically, Ms. Steinorth says, but months went by and no letter arrived. She asked again and the friend apologized profusely, but still no letter. After several more months, Ms. Steinorth asked one more time. Her friend ignored her.

几年前，斯泰诺特与丈夫决定收养一个孩子，便请这位好友给她写一封推荐信。斯泰诺特说，朋友热情地答应了，但是几个月过去，她没收到任何信件。她又问了一次，朋友再三道歉，但是依然没有寄信过来。几个月后，斯泰诺特又问了一次，这位朋友干脆置之不理。

'I learned a very painful lesson -- that she wanted more from me than she was willing to give back, ' Ms. Steinorth said.

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