Still, beyond universal agreement against physical confrontation, opinions vary on the right approach. Some experts say parents should keep arguments away from children because it's just too hard to fight well. 'If [parents] are going to have disagreements, they should do that in private as much as possible, ' says Thomas McInerny, president of the American Academy of Pediatrics. 'It is the rare instance when [couples] can keep it rational and keep it calm.'

但在普遍赞同不要搞肢体冲突之外，对于应该怎样争吵，大家各有各的看法。有些专家说，父母不应在孩子面前吵架，因为把架吵好真的很难做到。美国儿科学会(American Academy of Pediatrics)会长托马斯·麦金纳尼(Thomas McInerny)说：“如果（父母）之间要发生争论，那么他们就应该尽量私下进行。在争论时是很难保持理性、保持平静的。”

How to keep things from getting too heated for little eyes and ears? Child psychologist Kirsten Cullen Sharma suggests that parents agree in advance on an anger cutoff point for arguments. On an anger scale of one to 10, she asks individuals to define the number when they feel they start to yell, curse or generally lose control. (For one person, it could be a five. For another, it could be a seven.) During a disagreement, when Mom or Dad hits the cutoff number, the couple tables the argument to a time when the kids are asleep or aren't around. Either party can say when the other person has reached that limit.

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