造成这种错觉的原因是什么呢?伯恩斯坦说:“这是因为他们都非常害怕。他们害怕犯错误,也害怕其他人的错误会为自己带来坏影响。所以,自觉或不自觉地,他们都这样认为:如果我不能控制到每一件小事,就肯定会出什么乱子。”
Recognizing that fear is the key to taming it, Bernstein says. He recommends that you and your colleagues try these steps:
伯恩斯坦说,认知这种恐惧情绪是问题的关键。他建议你和你的同事们可以尝试以下措施:
1. Don't let your annoyance show."Calling someone a control freak, or getting visibly irritated when he leans on you, will only make him think he needs to keep an even closer eye on you," Bernstein says.
1. 不要显露出你的不快。伯恩斯坦说:“把某人叫做控制狂,或者他一靠近你就明显地表现出恼火,只会让他觉得他要对你更加小心提防。”
And don't even think about trying to discuss the problem: "Forget trying to talk a micromanager out of being one. Even seasoned therapists have trouble convincing the control-obsessed that their behavior might be causing more problems than it's solving."
而且决不要以为通过交流,就能把问题解决:“永远不要以为可以通过谈话交流,就能让一位微观管理者改变他的管理方式。即使是经验丰富的心理治疗专家,要想让患有控制癖的人相信他们的行为可能会适得其反,带来更多的麻烦,也会遇到问题。”
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