In the end, the delays shortchange both grandparent and grandchild -- at least according to older adults. That's because, once a grandchild finally arrives, there is less time to develop close ties. And time that is spent together invariably feels rushed -- even frantic.
总的来说,推迟生育对祖孙两辈都不公平——至少老人们是这样认为的。这是因为,等孙子终于出生以后,培养亲密关系的时间变少了。祖孙在一起的时候难免会感觉时间紧迫——甚至慌乱。
'We feel pressure to compress the years we would have had with them into a shorter period,' says Marsha Winer, 77. The Palos Verdes Estates, Calif., resident and her husband, Nate, 78, became first-time grandparents two years ago when their son Dan, now 50, and his wife, Stephanie, adopted two children. Today, the Winers try to pack as many grandparenting moments as possible into their visits with Caleb, 3, and David, 2: visits to the zoo and aquarium, baking cookies, shooting baskets on a minihoop.
77岁的玛莎·瓦内(Marsha Winer)和78岁的丈夫内特(Nate)住在加州帕洛斯弗迪斯庄园(Palos Verdes Estates),他们在两年前有了孙子,当时他们50岁的儿子丹(Dan)和妻子斯蒂芬妮(Stephanie)领养了两个孩子:凯莱布(Caleb)和大卫(David),目前分别是三岁和两岁。玛莎说:“要把我们和两个孩子在一起的时间压缩得更短,我们感到有压力。”如今,瓦内夫妇每次去看凯莱布和大卫的时候都尽量尽到做爷爷奶奶的责任:带他们去动物园和水族馆,做曲奇饼干,玩迷你篮筐投球。
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