As the quality of our physical connections gets diluted over time, we adjust, expecting less. We forget what real romance is. And we forget that sending kisses by email can’t replace actual intimacy.
Studies the world over have proven the same. Researchers at the University of Missouri interviewed hundreds of Facebook users aged between 18 and 82, who believed their partner’s Facebook use increased conflict in their relationship.
As the use of the site increased, the study found, so did their jealousy, leading to break-ups, cheating and divorce.
The evidence is everywhere: the more we resort to digital intimacy, the less fluent our actual intimacy becomes.
One couple’s relationship suffered when they were both promoted, and spent every evening answering emails from work, even at 11pm.
‘At first, we were answering emails from the bedroom,’ says Anne. ‘Which meant our sex life suffered. Then, my husband started working from the study next door instead. When he started texting me goodnight, instead of walking to the bedroom, I knew I was no longer a priority.’
This distance breeds mistrust. Partners worry who their loved one is talking to — often with good reason.
And an Oxford University study of 24,000 married European couples found a direct, inverse link between use of social networking sites and marital satisfaction.
The more couples read about others’ exciting lives on social media, the more likely they were to view their own with disappointment and disdain.
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