对父母来说,一个很大的困难就是允许孩子犯错,允许做一些不好的事情并且错误地认为这些经历将会损伤他们的能力,给他们的小心灵留下创伤。但是和其他人一样,孩子们在尝试新事物的前几次里可能会失败。另外,他们是小孩子,你不能指望他们第一次都会把事情做得很好。他们能否做好不重要,因为成功不是真正的目的。相反的,我们的目的是他们愿意持续尝试。你可以坚信:如果你的孩子可以继续尝试新事物,他们迟早会达到某种程度上的能力和成功。
Another mistake that parents make is that, after being unsuccessful when their children first try something, they try to correct them so they will succeed the next time they try (otherwise, many parents think, their children will get further scarred from the repeated failures). But put yourself in your children's shoes. How would you feel if you tried really hard at something and your parents jumped right in to show you that you did it the wrong way and here's how to do it the right way? Wouldn’t it irritate the heck out of you? Well, that's how your children probably feel. And what message are you sending with your rapid-fire intervention? That you don't believe your children are competent enough to figure it out on their own. You may ask, but how are they going to learn to do it the right way? I assure you that they will most likely figure it out themselves over time, through practice or observation. When they do finally get it, they will own it and will make a big deposit in their competence “bank.” That's not to say that you can't lend a hand when they are struggling. But let them take the lead; if they really want your help, they'll ask for it.
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