4.Remember that perception may not match reality.

记住，现实的才是最好的。

When Fisher polled a representative sample of 5,000 Americans for Match.com recently, she asked people how long it takes them to get over an ex and found the average answer was about three months.

菲舍最近在Match.com网站上对5000名美国人做了一个抽样调查，她问这5000人，他们要花多长时间才能忘掉前任，最普遍的答案是三个月。

"But you know what? It's one of the few things I didn’t believe," she said. "I actually don't believe that. I've seen people take 10 years."

“但是你知道吗，这是世上我绝不相信的事情之一。”她说：“我当真不能相信。我见过有人花十年才能忘掉前任的。”

However long it may take you to get over an ex, how you talk about that person when you're in a new relationship can reveal a great deal. If you're still grieving over an ex, that can create a barrier between you and your current partner and signify that you're not "over it."

无论你要花多长时间才能忘掉你的前任，当你开始新的恋情时，你向对方谈论前任的方式都会表现出来你对前任的态度。如果你仍在怀念前任，就会在你和现任的恋人之间设立一个障碍，告诉对方你的上一段恋情还没有“了结”。

You can still have fond memories of your exes and bring them up occasionally, but be wary of spending too much time dwelling on the past.

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