8. Never saying "hanks"

8. 从不说“谢谢”

My husband often feels like he deserves a medal every time he puts a loa d of wash in. (Never mind that I separated the wash, put it in the dryer, and spent hours folding it.) I want to stab him in the eyes when he expects validation for a relatively simple task but I give it to him anyway. Why? Because at least he did it. And when he feels empowered, BONUS: he might just do someth else, like grocery shopping or cleaning the fridge. By thanking him. I'm saying: "I see you, I acknowledg e you." Likewise, he should be thanking you, too. Otherwise there's a tendency to start playing the &lsqu o;who did more' game, which quickly leads to resentment. The more grateful you are, the more likely he'll do more. Trust me.

我丈夫经常在洗了很多衣服后认为自己应该被颁发勋章。（且毫不介意我之后把衣服分类，放进甩干机，然后花数小时叠好它们。)在他做了简单的工作却想得到表扬时我真想瞪他，但我还是感谢了他。为什么?因为至少他做了。并且当他感觉被感谢后，意外之喜：他可能会继续做其他的事,比如,去杂货店买油盐酱醋,或者淸理冰箱。感谢他时，我说：“我看到了 ,我认可你。”同祥，他也应该感谢你。否则,你们将会纠结于“谁干的更多”，最终导致矛盾。你感激他越多，他做的越多。相信我。

9. Spending too much time with your side of the family

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