“我们的第一次约会,那个男孩开着满载着牛的车来接我。那些牛站在卡车边,把屎拉在了我父母的郊区房子的人行道上。我还跟他结婚了。”
4. "One date I went on, the guy told me that he was addicted to coke."
“有一次我去约会,那个男的告诉我他对可乐上瘾。”
5. "He was studying a degree in Forensic Science at the time and told me, 'I know how to get rid of a body so no one would ever know it was me, or where to find it.' Needless to say, I didn't pursue this romantic endeavour."
“他那时候正在修法医学的学位,于是跟我说:“我知道怎么去处理尸体,那样就没有人会知道那是我干的或者找到尸体了。”不用说,我后来肯定没再跟他约过了。”
6. "It was his birthday, so I offered to take him out to a nice rooftop restaurant. The drinks came and one of them spilled on the table, he stopped the waitress from wiping it up and proceeded to slurp it off of the table and said 'these drinks ain't cheap' (as though he was paying). Then he spent the rest of the night on his phone.
"那是他的生日,所以我打算带他去一个屋顶上的饭店。喝的东西上来之后,其中一瓶溢在了桌子上,他便叫住了在擦桌子的服务员,滋溜滋溜地把桌子上的酒水吸起来喝掉,还说“这些喝的都不便宜呢”(弄得好像是他付钱似的)。然后他整晚都在打电话。
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