Like many strong, independent women, I was committed to not losing myself in a relationship. After some digging, I realized that my commitment to freedom was making me feel really alone -- even when I was married. I was still operating as if I was single. As if I had to do it all by myself. So here I was, with a partner ready to give me what I wanted -- and I wouldn't let him. Subconsciously, I was terrified that if I started to rely on my husband for anything that would mean I was dependent (which meant I could get hurt). But I stopped using the excuse that I don't want to lose myself as a reason I had to "do it all on my own."
像很多坚强独立的女性一样,我坚持不在感情中失去自我。但尝试几次之后,我意识到正是我对自由的坚持使我真正感觉孤独,甚至结婚之后也是如此。我仍然表现得好像自己依然单身,好像什么都得自己去做。所以我就是这样的,老公准备给我我想要的东西,但我也不让。我下意识地害怕如果我开始事事依赖我丈夫,那就意味着我不再独立(也就意味着我会受伤)。但后来我不再拿“不想失去自我”当作亲力亲为的借口了。
Here's how you can start to bring your own wall down and let a man into your life:
下面就教你如何开始打破心里障碍让男人进入你的生活。
1. Identify this wall and where it came from.
认清心里障碍,知道它从何而来。
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