Kenneth Downer的建议
Here are six things to think about before you decide to have that conversation.
对话前,首先考虑下面六件事情。
1. Do it when you are calm and unemotional.
1. 在冷静理智的时候给予反馈。
Yelling and banging your fist on the desk may get short term results but rarely fixes the underlying problem. Stay calm, make it a conversation.
大声嚷嚷,怒拍桌子只能治标不治本。冷静下来,好好谈谈。
2. Do it sooner rather than later.
2.越早越好。
The longer you wait, the more you miss an opportunity to fix something before it gets any further off track. As soon as you can, take a deep breath, and get it done.
时间拖得越长,你就会失去了把事情都扭转至正确轨道上来的机会。因此,深呼吸,尽快把事情解决了。
3. Do it privately.
3. 私下解决。
People generally don’t appreciate being criticized in public – it’s a hit on their esteem, puts them on the defensive, and makes it harder to have an open discussion.
人们一般都不喜欢在别人面前被批评——这样会大大损害对方的自尊心,激发内在的防御机制,然后就很难进行更开放的交谈了。
4. Focus on the behavior (not the person).
4.对事不对人。
Anything that sounds like a personal attack will immediately bring up the defensive shields; keep your focus on the actions that can be changed.
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