“And he would blush to his ears with emotion. And it would happen that, after whispering in the same way at the window, he would come up to me, with red ears, and say:
“ ‘My wife and I earnestly I beg you to accept this present.’
“And he would give me studs, a cigar-case, or a lamp, and I would send them game, butter, and flowers from the country. They both, by the way, had considerable means of their own. In early days I often borrowed money, and was not very particular about it—borrowed wherever I could—but nothing in the world have induced me to borrow from the Luganovitchs. But why talk of it?
“我闷闷不乐。在家里,在地里,在牲畜棚里,我都在想她。我苦苦思索一个美丽、聪明的年轻女人为什么要嫁给一个无趣、几乎可以做她父亲的人(她丈夫已四十出头),还跟他生孩子;想弄懂这个无趣、善良、心思简单的男人,在舞会和晚会上一直待在更刻板的人身边,用令人厌烦的机智争论着,看上去倦怠而多余,脸上的表情顺从而无动于衷,就像他被带到那儿出售一样,为什么还认为他有权利快乐,有权利有她的孩子。且我一直想弄清楚为什么她先遇到的是他而不是我,为什么在我们的生活里要发生这么一个可怕的错误。
“I was unhappy. At home, in the fields, in the barn, I thought of her; I tried to understand the mystery of a beautiful, intelligent young woman’s marrying some one so uninteresting, almost an old man (her husband was over forty), and having children by him; to understand the mystery of this uninteresting, good, simple-hearted man, who argued with such wearisome good sense, at balls and evening parties kept near the more solid people, looking listless and superfluous, with a submissive, uninterested expression, as though he had been brought there for sale, who yet believed in his right to be happy, to have children by her; and I kept trying to understand why she had met him first and not me, and why such a terrible mistake in our lives need have happened.
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