Give your friend a chance to be reflective and self aware. See how she processes your question, and give her time to do so. If your impatient, she will likely feel attacked. The next step is letting your friend know how you felt in certain situations. Again, don't give 10 examples - just one is good.
让你的朋友有反思、有自我意识的机会。看看她会如何处理你的问题,也给她一些时间。如果你十分不耐烦,那她会感觉受到了攻击。下一步就是让你的朋友知道你在特定情况下的感受。不要举10个例子--一个就好。
If you are respectful and give her some space and she still gets defensive, then maybe it's a battle you need to rethink. I am curious what you have in common with this person, and what you enjoy about your time together. What are you getting from this friendship?
如果你尊重她,给了她一定的空间,但她还是辩称自己的行为,那也许这是一场你需要重新思考的'战斗'。我很好奇你和这个人的共同点,在一起的时候你又在享受什么?你从这段友谊中收获了什么?
Because there is another option here: Life is short and if you don't feel good when with her maybe you need to assess whether this is someone you would like to invest your time and energy in. Perhaps I am missing a big piece here! Personally, I have always been a loyal type, someone who loves fiercely, and always wants to find ways to resolve issues.
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