Q: My best friend is rude to other people when we're out - doesn't say please or thank you, doesn't tip, doesn't hold the door open for other people, doesn't care if she talks loudly on the phone in a crowd. I see other people reacting to her, and it makes me embarrassed to be around her. Should I say something?
问题:在外面的时候,闺蜜对别人的态度总是很粗鲁--不会说请或谢谢、不给小费、不会为他人扶门、不会介意自己在人群中大声打电话。看到其他人对她做出的反应,我不经感到尴尬。我是不是该说些什么?
You absolutely should let your friend know that you find her behaviours disrespectful to others and to you and it stresses you out. You have to set a boundary here: That when you are out together, a standard of manners must be upheld.
你当然应该让你的朋友知道:她的行为对他人、对你都是一种不尊重,会让你感到压力。你必须划定一条界限:当你们一起出门的时候,她必须要有礼貌。
That's not exactly something you can just toss easily into conversation, or it'll land like a bomb. So think about how you want to say it. Maybe start from a place of concern, and say something like, "Hey I just want to check in… is everything okay? I noticed at the restaurant you were really short fused with the server . . . Is anything up?"
这不是件可以轻松聊起的事,否则会像炸弹落地一样,产生影响。所以,想想你该如何提及这件事。或许先谈一件你所关心的,说一些类似"嗨,我只是想知道你一切都还好吗?我注意到你在饭店的时候对服务员很不耐烦,出什么事了吗?"之类的话。
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