On the other hand, Howe wrote, people who responded with remarks such as, "I learned that two people can both be quality individuals, but that doesn't mean they belong together" tended to have an easier time with the breakup.
与此同时,霍伊写道,说出下面的话的受访者通常能更好地应对分手:“我明白了即使两个人都是优秀的人,也不意味着他们就应该在一起。”
Howe recommends that we try to "question our own narratives" about what the breakup reveals about us in order to have an easier time coping.
分手揭示出你的个人缺陷?霍伊建议“不要听从这个内心的声音”,这样分手后才不会那么痛苦。
4. Write about a silver lining you've found in the breakup
把分手的好处写下来
Research suggests that simply journaling about your emotions surrounding a breakup can make you feel worse.
研究显示,把和分手有关的情感历程记录下来会让你感觉更糟。
But a study published 2017 in the journal Social and Personal Relationships found a specific type of journalling can help you cope: writing a redemptive narrative. That is, a story about how you turned suffering - in this case, a breakup - into a positive experience.
2017年发表在《社会与个人关系》期刊上的一项研究发现,有一种类型的日记能够帮你更好地应对分手:救赎故事,就是把你如何把苦难(比如分手)转化为积极经历的故事写下来。
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