3. Every part of India has its own exclusive natural disaster. Bihar and Assam, for instance, have their floods that arrive punctually every year to give everyone swimming and boating lessons. Andhra Pradesh and Telangana are regularly hit by drought, which they shamelessly use to extract sympathy and funds from Delhi.
Mumbai gets a lot of attention, thanks to the annual monsoon flooding that puts the Spirit of Mumbai on display for everyone to admire. Bengalureans get their annual quota of sympathy from their traffic, which, like the ovum, doesn’t move but keeps growing. Kolkatans in any case don’t need the sympathy of their intellectual inferiors, which is you, if you are a non-Bong from non-Kolkata. As for Chennaivasis, they do deserve everyone’s sympathy, for their lives are at the mercy of animated abbreviations — EPS, OPS, USP, SUPW.
That leaves the Delhiites, which includes me too (no hashtag intended). What do we have? With our wide roads, Lodhi garden, and the largest Metro network in the subcontinent, not to mention the thousands of crores of tribute that flow into our coffers from every corner of the country, we live comfortably off the fat of the land.
Even when the entire nation was reeling under demonetisation – mind you, I am not suggesting it was a calamity or anything – a few phone calls to a few highly placed contacts was all it took. Black became white, and old notes became new, without productive hours being lost in ATM queues. After all, what are drivers and cooks for?
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