人们总会吃另一半前任的醋,甚至达到痴迷的程度,感觉自己在和前任竞争一样,纽约市的临床心理学家迈克尔·布鲁斯坦解释道。大多数情况下,你的另一半和他/她的前任之间根本没啥联系,但你却会臆想另一半正在出轨,布鲁斯坦医生说道。所以,虽然你内心深知另一半已经忘掉了她/他的前任,你可能还是会偶尔检查他们的社交媒体,以确保你还是比他们更优秀--以防万一,你懂的。
In many cases, this preoccupation with your partner's ex may stem from your own insecurities, but it can be exacerbated by your partner's comments about their ex, Dr. Brustein says. "Sometimes a partner can instigate [insecurities] if they are somehow still connected to their ex, or unconsciously or consciously bring up things that are triggering," he says. And when you feel like you're already lacking in some way, you're more easily triggered by these comments or bits of information.
大多数情况下,这种对另一半前任的成见可能源于你自己没有安全感。但另一半对其前任的评语可能会加大你的不安全感,布鲁斯坦医生说道。"有时候,如果另一半仍在以某种方式和前任联系或者有意无意的提起让你恼怒的话题,那他们就是在触发你的不安全感,"他说道。当你本身就缺乏安全感时,这些话语或信息更有可能激发你。
If you feel like you have to go out of your way to keep tabs on your partner's ex, then your fixation might be a form of self-sabotage, Dr. Brustein says. "There are times when somebody might be doing this to rationalize getting out of [a relationship]," he says. Again, this most likely stems from an insecurity that your partner is still connected with their ex or that you're never going to measure up to their past partners.
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