分手后老想着复合怎么办？先想清楚这9个问题_时事

分手后老想着复合怎么办？先想清楚这9个问题

情感专家兼婚姻家庭认证治疗师佩拉•威斯曼告诉Bustle网站：“根据著名研究员约翰•格特曼关于情侣关系的研究，69%的感情矛盾会一直存在——并且所有的情侣都会有。在任何关系中，矛盾都是不可避免的，这没什么，只要你能接受。但是如果矛盾太深，你必须正视它。能够听取一个值得信任的局外人的看法就更好了。”或许，矛盾本身就很严重以至于你们根本解决不了。

3. How Long Have You Given Yourself?

你给自己多久的时间？

You should always give yourself some breathing room. If you just broke up two days ago — or, if it was a long relationship, even two weeks or months ago — your mind hasn't settled yet. Getting back together is a big decision, so make sure you're in the right headspace.

你应该给自己一些喘息的时间。如果你两天前才分手，又或者刚从一段很长久的恋情走出来两个星期，或者两个月，你的心还没有安定下来。复合是一项重大的决定，所以一定要确保给自己留足了空间。

4. Are They Promising To Change?

对方承诺要有所改变了吗？

“The only reason you should ever get back together with an ex is because you’re willing to accept them exactly as they are,” sex and relationship expert Ravid Yosef tells Bustle. “Acceptance, no matter the circumstances, is the only way that you can make it when that thing that was wrong in the first place creeps up again.” If they're promising to change, you can't fall for it. You need to be sure you love them just as they are.