It may seem counter-intuitive, but hear us out. Every co-inhabiting couple can relate to those small annoyances and grievances about living with their partner. But all that little stuff is exactly that: stuff.

看起来，这与咱们的正常预期恰恰相反，但客官，请听我说……同住一屋檐的夫妻都会对另一半的生活方式有小小的不满。但所有的小事情也只是事情。

Lawler writes that she resists the urge to pick fights about the little things, like when her husband leaves his shoes in the hallway or coats on the chairs. Doing so makes room-and saves energy!-for more important disagreements, she says. (By the way, this is what your fights reveal about your relationship.)

劳勒写道：她拒绝为小事争吵，比如当她丈夫把鞋子扔在走廊上或把外套扔在椅子上。这样做不仅能为更重要的争吵腾出空间，还能节省精力，她说道。（另外，你的争吵也会揭示你们的感情状态。）

'For us, the secret seems to be in staying quiet about one another's insignificant faults but at the same time, speaking up when needed-like over essential things, character things, big things, kid things, but mostly in doing so gently and with respect,' Lawler writes. 'Sometimes, we do it loudly, I guess, but we choose our battles carefully.'

"对我们而言，秘诀就是闭口不谈对方无足轻重的缺点，但同时，必要的时候还是要大声说出来--比如重要的事情、性格问题、大事、关于小孩的事，但最主要的是要平和的带着尊重另一半的态度谈论这些事，"劳勒写道。"有时候，我们会大吵大闹，我想，但我们会捡重要的事争吵。"

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