"Arguments help you figure out what you're actually fighting about - an invaluable lesson! When you delete the details of an argument, you quickly realize it wasn't about being on the phone too much, spending too much time with friends, or not picking up around the house. It's about not feeling seen and heard, not feeling cared for, feeling taken advantage of. It takes practice not to get caught up in the details of an argument, but if you stop to feel rather than think, you can address the underlying issue and stop having the same fights - with different details - over and over again."
"争论能帮助你弄明白自己在吵什么--一个宝贵的教训!当忽略争吵的细节时,你会很快意识到,你们争吵的原因根本就不是因为玩手机太多、和好朋友相处的时间太久或是没有收拾屋子。而是因为感觉另一半不听自己说话、不看自己、不关心自己,或感觉自己被利用了。不陷于争吵的细节是需要练习的,但如果你不再凭感受,而是去思考,那么你就能解决潜在的问题,并停止一次又一次细节不同的相同争吵。"
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